They say that hindsight is 20/20 and if I could tell 15 year old Sheena anything it would be this: It is all going to be ok. You finally learn how to give things to God and he takes care of it. So chill out. Can you believe at the base of most things that stressed me out as a highly dramatic teenage girl was what guy I was going to marry? That sounds pretty serious for 15, but I had a dream of what my life could look like and I wanted it so desperately. I never saw the guy clearly in my dreams but I thought about him all the time and I knew he and I both had to have a passion for two things...God and a peaceful home. Hallelujah, I serve a prayer answering God! I am also thankful God worked out the details, I mean, have you seen Cliff East? Holla! I have been sitting around today thinking about how much I have to be thankful for. Thanks to God and a good man, I live a majorly blessed life. That does not in any way mean I live a perfect life. I learned a long time ago that a life devoted to God didn't immediately give me a free pass from sin or pain. Inside that incredibly blessed life have been incredibly hard trials. I can't lie and say and I haven't begged and asked God to give me answers or felt anger and helplessness. Crippling anxiety and depression. Some days the grief has been so heavy I didn't even want to get out of bed, and I'm not altogether sure I won't have more of those days. The hardest part of dealing with trials for me personally is how quickly my thoughts can be overtaken. Like my mind isn't even my own.
I recently had a conversation with a friend about how the hardest battles we fight are in our mind. It's amazing, how when left with our own thoughts for too long, we can conjure up a whole lot of fear, anxiety, and doubt. All things that have no place in a child of God. His plans is for us to have power, love, and a SOUND MIND. Not a freaked out, anxious mind. For someone who has struggled with depression and anxiety in the past, I know that God has more for me and I know that He will take care of everything even when I don't understand. That isn't sweet sounding lip service, that is experience talking. In Philippians 4 Paul is encouraging the church to be joyful. Not worrying about the future but trusting that God will send his peace that passes all understanding to help you. Over the past few months I have done back to this particular chapter over and over. Reminding my self in EVERYTHING rejoice in the Lord. Be thankful. Trust Him. And to remind myself that I can do this by living out verse 8.
8 Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy—dwell on these things.
We all have so much to be thankful for! Every single one of us, no matter what we have been through, can be thankful. I woke up today, my kids are healthy, I ate today, I have a roof over my head, I have clothes to wear, I have friends, I have access to education and healthcare in an emergency. Blessed, blessed, blessed! Thankfulness in the small things we easily take for granted. I pray that no matter what life throws your way you will remember to put a thankful heart and trust in God front and center so that your mind may dwell in peace!